You know what is just so annoying? People showing up to events who are just not invited.

I’m not talking about the occasional “Wedding Crasher” in the Vince Vaughn, Owen Wilson sense of the word, I’m talking about people who are invited to a function and bring “extras” with them.  A plus one they weren’t offered, their 18-year-old daughter who they believes they technically belong at the “adult only reception…no, no.

This is so tacky. Complaining to a couple that you don’t get a plus-one, or showing up with extra family members causes so much stress on the bride & groom, not to mention the wedding planner or facilities manager who now has to find a place for these people to sit and something for them to eat. And really, who wants to be standing in the back because they aren’t listed at a table when the bridal party is being announced? How awkward is that?

Listen, if you get an oversized envelope in the mail and it’s addressed to YOU and no one else. Don’t bring someone with you. It’s obnoxious and makes for a really uncomfortable situation at the event.

A friend of mine invited a specific number of guests to her shower.  Two women called to see if their 18-year-old daughters could come. Well one called and asked, the other just showed up.  It made for an uncomfortable situation at the shower and the bride had to explain to the one guest that the other had just brought her daughter and she wasn’t technically invited.  THEN … later seperate phone calls had to be made to both guests to explicitly tell these women that no, their children are not welcome at this adult only reception.

Since when is this not clear? I was completely blown away by this story…You are a GUEST at this person’s wedding… there’s not a negotiation process.

I worked another wedding once where two people, who were not invited to the wedding, showed up and acted as though they were guests.  I think the man actually said to me, ” I can’t believe we don’t have seats.” I knew they weren’t on the list, and I knew they were crashers, but in the interest of everyone’s sanity and pride, we had to literally set 2 more places at an 8-top table that was already set for 10. Talk about tight…

Those two  were fish at the bar all night too. It was unreal.

Just advise people against doing this. As a bridesmaid you’re technically on deck to help wherever necessary and sometimes it’s having a rather uncomfortable conversation with an overly eager guest and their additional uninvited guests…but sometimes it has to be done.  Weddings are expense, and if you weren’t invited… there’s a damn good reason for it.  Don’t push it.

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