I went. I found. I conquered. (Trumpet Music)

I have to admit I have always been a little bit afraid of David’s Bridal and every single person who works there. I had to pick up my bridesmaid dress this weekend and opted for an upstate New York store location over one closer to my current address because, well, it seemed easier.  The thought of traveling to either Jersey or Queens to find and fit a dress on a Saturday made my head spin.

So I went to David’s Bridal on a Wednesday morning and was greeted slowly by a woman sitting at what looked like a bridal show check-in table.  I flipped through her catalogue, pointed to what I thought was the dress I was supposed to be getting and promptly asked her to double check the bride’s stats in the computer. Check. Right dress indeed.

I followed a less than enthusiastic salesperson through the maze of rainbow colored dressed to a rack in the back.  I don’t know, after seeing these women pounce on every living soul at bridal shows, I was kind of expecting the David’s Bridal Dress Fairy to come skipping out with bubbles and confetti with enough enthusiasm to send me right back out the doors. Dammit, where was Neil Patrick Harris when I wanted him!?

This one didn’t even seem like she had had her morning coffee yet.

Regardless, there was my dress, in my size, in my color hanging on the rack. Hooray! No ordering, shipping or ever having to return!

Now, it is March, it is cold, and I am quite pale.  A fellow bridesmaid warned me. “It’s the middle of winter.  I look like a booger,” she said.

Hmm… I see the resemblance.  Pasty I am.  Spray Tanning I will do.

But it fit. Done and Done.

It was so quick and painless I wandered over to the SALE rack while my unenthusiastic salesperson informed me “they” were sewing a hook into the back of the dress “out back”.

Ohhhh…. so the David’s Bridal Dress fairies were busy in the back with Neil Patrick Harris and their confetti, sewing hooks back into floor samples. That explains it.

After turning down multiple attempts to shell out more cash for shoes and a bag, both of which could be “dyed the exact same shade of green for me,” I left with not one but TWO dresses.

(I scored a short little dress in burnt orange, marked down to $30 from $110 for one of the gazillion weddings I’ve agreed to attend this year.)

Seriously, if I wear it once and never again, it was worth buying.  Plus I found some FABULOUS shoes later in the day to go with it.
Shoes make everything better.

It was a very painless trip. I was surprised. That doesn’t mean I want to go back anytime soon- especially on a weekend- but it was definitely not as bad as the nightmare I had imagined in my head.

The bridesmaid that coined us boogers had a completely different experience (on a Saturday). Her head exploded.  Plan accordingly.

Later that day I found the exact Silver shoes to match my exact bridesmaid specifications.

They will not make me taller than the groom,  trip down the aisle, look like a high school prom queen or like I regularly dance on tables.
(I only do that sometimes)

Very productive day.

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