Be My Bridesmaid…

Five very drunk brides-to-be with their posses of scantily clad bridesmaids in tow threw down in a Battle of the Bachelorettes this weekend in Newport, RI. Ridiculous getup’s ranged from a Red-Sox hat/veil and feather boas to plastic peenie weenie straws and drink stirrers.  Even a giant blow up penis went parading down Thames Street, getting horrified looks from both the yuppie Newport locals, and the bachlorette’s partying sans plastic peen for the night.

Newport, RI. Home to the tawdriest bachelorette parties this side of Boston. Who knew?  I actually couldn’t believe the number of women out celebrating their last night of “freedom” in this tiny seaside resort. Having been to Newport once about six years ago, I anticipated your typical preppy seaside resort town complete with boys in boat shoes, popped collars and everything pretty in pink and green.  Not so, at least not so at night…

No, Newport is filled with cover bands that play Sweet Home Alabama and Don’t Stop Believin’ on repeat, men dressed as Captain Morgan, and yes… a couple of New England yuppies who got lost on their way to the Hamptons.

But, it is one of the most fun places I’ve ever been to. It’s really beautiful, and if you can make time to do anything outside the bar for the weekend, do it. The Salve Regina cliff walk is really beautiful and walking distance from downtown Newport. There are sails around the island, and fancy shmancy places you can pretend you belong at like the roof bar at the Hotel Viking, the dining room at the Mooring House, where Giada DeLaurentis went on her RI weekend getaway and Castlehill resort, which offers cocktails on the lawn every afternoon at sunset.

But, for those of you just looking to party out in the traditional Bachlorette style in Newport, read some helpful tips to remember for a successful weekend away.

1. Take rides from Strangers: Otherwise you might not get home. There are a total of eight cabs in Newport, RI, and when the bars say last call, those streets fill up like State Street on a Saturday night when SUNY’s in session.  It’s pretty easy for nine girls to flag down a pick-up truck (or a Civic) for a free ride home if you just ask nicely.

WARNING:  Be careful. Don’t try this at home. Especially with less than 5 people, 2 of which aren’t at least something close to what you would refer to as sober. Also, beware of PVC piping in the truck bed.

All in all - pretty bad idea. But it beats walking up hills in heals.

2.  Make use of what you’ve got: There is no “adult entertainment” in Newport, unless you count watching the drunks stumble home. However, there’s nothing wrong with “asking around” to “see” if anyone in your general vicinity… including but not limited to hot, young bell boys, “happen to know anyone” who “may or may not be willing to provide some entertainment when they get off work.” Just don’t make the poor little things panic and break into a nervous sweat. Watch your wording too.  Pretty sure that other kind of favor could land you in jail.

3. Flasks are mandatory: Bringing these little babies with you to the bar will significantly decrease your bar bill. That or, raid the mini bar for nips before you leave the hotel and stuff them in your purse.  Drinks are yet another of Newport’s overpriced commodities.  Plus, some Newport bartenders are a little bit on the slow side, and you might be better off going to the bathroom to spike the punch than wait behind six girls ordering a round of red headed sluts.

4. Watch out for the little ones… they bite: If you find yourself in the company of a brood of highly intoxicated and fairly unattractive men, who a) can’t stop sweating b) can’t stand up straight, and c) continue to fall into you to the tune of the Dropkick Murphy’s, take a few steps back, and wait for the smallest of your friends to tell the guy off. He’ll be so confused that the littlest one is screaming, he won’t know what to do except apologize, kiss you on the cheek and be on his merry way.

5. Watch the bride… or you just might lose her: When the night is over it’s pretty easy to lose track of people. Try very hard not to lose track of the blinking bachelorette in her pink feather boa. They tend to wander away, shoeless attempting to get into vans filled with people they think they know. Taking her phone away might not be a bad idea either…in general this is a good idea for any and all serial drunk dialers in the group, but particularly helpful if her fiancé happens to be at his bachelor party at the same time. But if you want a good laugh… let her keep it and watch her attempt to lie her ass off about the hypothetical nonsense that ensued through the night to the best man. Now, that is priceless.

I myself have never been much a bag whore, a purse moocher or a handbag hooker. No, no, dresses and shoes are my vices.  But my cousin, now she’s a girl who likes a good bag, and to an extent she’s right. A bag can totally make or break an outfit. (This, is where I’m kind of lying because I had the same black Nine West bag for about 6 years and just recently splurged on a Longchamp bag, which some not-so-hot suburbian housewife in my childhood hometown TJ Maxx referred to as an oversize diaper bag. Seriously? Bite me bitch. That’s half my paycheck.) I digress.

However for the Sara’s in all of us…I give you my bag post. Some of the best of the best this season from the shower satchel to the bachelorette party clutch. And for those of you who are really looking for a steal I suggest you start at the website Bag, Borrow or Steal, which is an instant fashion fix for anyone who can’t afford to buy a designer bag but wouldn’t mind carrying one around for a week or two.  Here, you can essentially “rent” or borrow a bag to match your latest look and if you so choose, steal it (you do have to pay for it) and never give it back. Kind of awesome.

I also want to mention that vintage shops, second hand stores and good will are really great for fabulous vintage finds. They can be very rare, but definitely worth looking for. I have a white beaded bag that belonged to my grandmother that I literally have carried to every wedding I’ve ever been to and I have gotten rave reviews time and again. That said, raid your grandmothers and maybe even mother’s closets. You never know what you’ll find behind the shoe boxes on the top shelf.

But some more of my favorites this season.

Sabina Quilted Clutch from South Moon Under for $148

Whiting & Davis Small Mesh Bag from South Moon Under ( I love this because someone in my childhood hand one and it’s so vintage and fabulous to ever come across as gaudy. Also available in Silver.) $54

Leather Fold Over Clutch from Nine West now on sale for $119.99

Printed Fabric Clutch from Talbots $48. ( Ok, I know. I totally get made fun of on occasion for perusing the online and sometimes in store goods of Talbots- because it’s “where my friends mom’s shop” BUT…lately they have been “oh so lilly” and a little prep can go a long way in my world. So… deal.)

Latico Satchel from Piperlime for $175

Beirn Large Envelope Clutch from Piper Lime for $298

Big Buddha Kayla Clutch from Piper Lime for $35

Picking out jewelry for a wedding is not the most fun thing in the world. In fact, a little guidance from the bride I think, is definitely a good thing. It eliminates the awkward moment the day of that goes like this…

Bride: “Are you wearing those earrings?”
Bridesmaid: “Well… I was planning on it. You said you didn’t care what we wear.”
Bride: “Oh. Ok.” (Inside her head she’s saying, “I lied. I care. You can’t wear those hoochi mama hoops at MY wedding.”

Again, guidance can be a very good thing.

Admittedly, some brides are mum about jewelry until the day of the wedding because they often buy the jewelry for you as a gift. I thought the earrings that the beautiful bridesmaids of wedding #3 wore were really wonderful and looked gorgeous with their mint green dresses. I couldn’t get close enough to snap any pictures, but they looked a little bit like these Elsa Peretti earrings from Tiffanys, ($425) from 25 pews back…

If you don’t get any guidance talk to the other bridesmaids, and devise some kind of plan… no earrings only necklaces. Or absolutely no necklace only earrings. Don’t show up looking like a beach gypsy with a set of tarot cards…choose wisely, and sparingly in some cases.

For those of you in weddings with brides who TRULY don’t care, there are a lot of options out there to pick from.

CLASSIC/TRADITIONAL:

$195- $355

TOTALLY IRREVERENT:

$65 at South Moon Under

$60 at South Moon Under

There is also a a really great blog on InStyle.com called My Jewel Box, where the rich and not so rich come together to share their favorite baubles and bling and the stories behind them.

Even if you can’t afford your own version of Donatella Versace’s Fred Leighton ring, at least you can stare at it, use it as a procrastination tool, or a ridiculous aspirational fantasy at work…there are worse things to daydream about.

InStyle.com also has a designer spotlight section that might better help you and your bride determine the kind of jewelery HER special day will call for. Is it going to be more free-spirit, Kate Hudson hippy fest on the beach which, might call for the bold link-and-chain designs of Ippolita, or a more sophisticated soirée ala Natalie Portman with diamond Art-Deco period pieces from Kwiat.

Just remember use these as inspiration with your bride… don’t scare the living bejesus out of her by sending her an email with a link to the $3,000 pair of earrings you’re hoping she’ll spring for. You might get fired from bridesmaid duty…forever.

Communication is key. Talk to the bride, and the other bridesmaids and figure out what look is best for the day, the bride and the dresses. Happy shopping!

These are the first pictures from photographer Christopher Record, the photographer from Steph & George’s wedding.  They are featured on his blog Foto Record. He’s in the blogroll now under photographers, and if you happen to live in the Davidson, NC area….I highly recommend this wonderful photographer. You’ll see for yourself but the pictures from “THE BEST WEDDING EVER” are just incredible. And these are just a few!
Enjoy! Thanks again Chris!

That’s what I told my friend Stephanie who married my friend George this past weekend at one of the most wonderful, beautiful, loving, perfect Carolina weddings I have ever witnessed.

This post is going to be a bit more unconventional, in that I’m going to let you all in on a more personal part of my world instead of critiquing and revealing the planning and the details. There’s a little bit of that here, but mostly it’s just me saying how happy I am that I was able to travel to North Carolina to see two of my favorite people get married with the most important people in their lives in attendance.

To be honest, I have never really been around in the days leading up to a wedding unless I was working or planning it. You’re not nearly as emotionally invested as you are when it’s your best friends trying to make everything perfect in time for the rehearsal dinner. I have to say it was a very stressful and chaotic experience for everyone involved (Not me, I just showed up and observed the chaos… by that time there was nothing left for me to do but watch). But people don’t do things like that if they don’t love you, and these two had a whole lot of love in the air and a whole lot of help too.

I don’t know anyone else in the world who could have dealt with the last minute stress that developed along with some very uncooperative weather as well. Plus, as long as I have known George, being prompt has never really been his strong suite. But there were other factors, and they dealt with everything so calmly that it made my head start to spin a little.

The reason this was one of the most wonderful weddings I’ve ever been to because it was so authentic and wonderful. These two have been dating for something over 6 years now. Steph you can correct me if I’m wrong… because to me it seems like you have always been together.

The bridal luncheon was so sweet, and very new for me- a southern soul stuck in a Yankee upbringing. I had never been to a bridal luncheon- different from the shower and bachelorette- where the bride thanks all those women close to her who helped in planning and participating in the wedding day. We had the beautiful back courtyard at Toast Cafe in Davidson, NC to ourselves where we laughed and cried and exchanged gifts before getting back to the craziness of the day. I think it was a much needed break for everyone.

Later that night a rehearsal dinner was given at the Harbor Club in Davidson, NC which was wonderful and full of laughter, reminiscing and speech after speech from friends and family toasting the bride and groom-to-be. I am a crier. I’m not afraid to say it, and I was waterworks that night, all night. Of course it didn’t help that a friend of ours who lives in Japan flew in and surprised the groom. Stephanie and a few others knew all about it, but I was conveniently kept in the dark, and therefore proceeded to cry in public for the next 20 minutes. Awesome. Thanks guys.

There was drinking and dancing later and it was just so wonderful to be in the company of my favorite people in the world.

The wedding was beautiful. George was literally giddy. He had the goofiest smile on his face as Steph walked down the aisle and she was actually bouncing down the aisle, she was so excited.

The brunch on Sunday was fantastic and a wonderful way to say goodbye to the huge amount of family and friends that were in town. Plus who doesn’t love to have a little helping of cheese grits before hopping on a plane back to LaGuardia…

A little rain never hurt anyone, and despite the very wet conditions at the reception, everyone made the best of it, and by the middle of dinner the sky cleared, the stars and lightning bugs came out, and it was the perfect Carolina night. Here are some highlights I’d like to share.

1. No Shoes, No Shirt, No Problem -It started with people loosing their shoes early in the night and by midnight, three groomsmen lost their shirts to the theme of New York, New York. What’s a little wedding strip show? Only in the south. Or maybe in Maine… I have a funny feeling we might see a repeat of this in July…

2. Make It Rain - Yes, the dance floor was wet, there were buckets catching water at every corner of the outdoor tents, the hanging lanterns were full of water and the poor place cards were covered with garbage bags in an effort to stay dry. But no one seemed to notice. We just ditched our shoes and walked around barefoot, ordering Blue Moons from the bar and eating Grit cakes waiting for the rain to stop. And when the bride and groom were announced they came strutting in under a huge black umbrella. How cute is that?

3. Don’t Stop Believin‘- When the dj makes a mistake and plays Don’t Stop Believing by Journey instead of the song you picked out to dance with your mama to…just improvise. This was incredible. Steph danced to My Girl with her dad, and then George and his mom took the floor to some serious hootin’ and hollerin’ from the tent perimeter. By the end of the song everyone was out on the dance floor fist pumping to Journey. How great is that? It was seriously the best thing ever. Let’s get this party started!

4. Best Man speeches are really important ( And it will probably never be as good as this one)- Why not go out of the box a bit? Regular speeches are boring. My best friend, and george’s best man made the best man speech of the year. In this toast/roast to George he literally hit on everything we love about George in the most hilarious way possible. In song… I apologize for the side video…tilt your head. It won’t kill you.

5. Other Treats- The cake was visually beautiful and delicious. There was an ice cream sundae bar with do it yourself toppings, amazing appetizers traditional to the south, a delicious dinner buffet with roasted vegetables and chicken cakes and salmon and sides that just kept coming. The flowers were absolutely incredible and the pictures do not do them justice.

In short, this was the best wedding I’ve ever been to because of how much I love George & Steph and it was an incredible treat for me to be able to participate and attend in this wonderful wedding with my incredible family of friends. I am so blessed by having the unique privilege of having an incredible extended family of friends who have been, and will continue to be a major part of my life, by letting me be a part of there’s. Cheers to you guys. I love you!

Well, I finally got my hands on a copy of Laura Dave’s new book The Divorce Party and I finished it in 3 hours. I had wedding #3 to attend this weekend, and I read the book en route.

Personally, I think it’s better than her first book, which I loved, but keeps with her fantastically natural writing style and relateable characters. There’s literary twists, character secrets and a Montauk backdrop that tells a story of love, betrayal and self discovery through generations.

I already gave you a synopsis of this book a few weeks ago, and now I’m telling you it’s totally worth going out and buying. Or just point and click… for the resourceful book whores.

A few times while I was reading The Divorce Party, I literally gasped and closed the book in a more movie than book moment of ” I can’t believe that just happened.” Lets hope those movie rights are around the corner. I’ll call it one of this summer’s best beach reads, but only because you can devour the whole thing in one sitting. It’s just that good.

Berger…Aidan…Big.

Unless you’ve been living under a rock, you know that the lovely ladies of SATC are hitting the big screen this weekend, and according to New York media, hundreds of sexy singles are heading to New York City for a sex filled weekend of bachelorette style nostalgia complete with strappy stilettos and Cosmopolitans.

Personally, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with a SATC themed Bachelorette party, especially if your bride-to-be is a serious fanatic.  Of course the timing helps too. If you are ahead of the game enough you could plan a complete SATC bachelorette complete with signature drinks, limo, movie and a night out on the town with your girlfriends in tow. Really… isn’t that what a bachelorette party is supposed to be about anyway?

I’d skip the trivia and the big pink boa, but have fun this weekend girls! AM New York gives hometown city girls some options to avoid the mayhem this weekend and still pay tribute to the ladies who introduced us to the wonderful world of fashion, friendships and sex in the city.
I know the movie doesn’t come out until this weekend, but it debuted in London last night.  My cousin lives there and went to see the movie last night.  I don’t know if the movie is really that good, or if it’s a fix she hasn’t gotten in four years, but she’s going back for more tonight.  Cheers!

I love flowers.  I think they are absolutely necessary to make a good event, and like music, they’re a subtle added detail, but if they’re missing, you definitely notice

My very first job ever… unless you count babysitting…which I don’t, was at a florist.   This is the start of my obsession with flowers.  When I turned 16 I marched myself into a flower shop on Main Street on Mother’s Day weekend, grabbed an apron and kind of fell in love with flowers.

It was really just the flowers that I fell in love with.  Everything else about that job sucked.  The pay was really bad, the tips if we got any, were mediocre at best, the location was less than desirable. (More than once I had to brandish a box cutter to scare away a crazy just before close. )

In the summertime, I stood in the sun for hours watering plants under this ridiculous striped circus tent, popping sour sweet tarts and warding off Sunday morning hangovers with my best friend Jen, doing our best to look busy when “management” came around.

But in between there were the flowers, and I quickly navigated my way through the buckets of gerbera daisies, tulips, sunflowers, roses and lilies in the back cooler.  (Plus it was a great place to hide out in the middle of August.)

We had our favorites. Jen liked daisies and lily of the valley.  I liked tulips, hydrangea and hyacinth.

We both liked Chris & Dave.

Hot, hired and in college.  The perfect summer job trifecta for any high school girl. They were great.

I digress.

Anyway, that was the beginning of my summer love… for flowers… and it has lasted well into adulthood.  It being Spring I have started treating myself once a week to fresh flowers. Yellow tulips with blue hyacinth, white hydrangeas with pink roses, and this week…peonies.

I love peonies. They are BEAUTIFUL and smell incredible. A photo editor I worked with once did her own flowers for her wedding and used all different shades of peonies. I was so impressed then, and when I stumbled across them last week I justified spending $10 on 3 stems of perfect pink peonies.

Because they’re so big, you can really arrange them by themselves in oddly shaped containers.  If you don’t have a vase, use a teacup, a mason jar, or even a little bowl.  using differently shaped containers as a centerpiece gives the arrangement depth and height variation, plus it’s a little bit more fun than flowers in a vase.  They’re also a beautiful bouquet flower because they’re so fluffy and you only need a few to make a statement.

The New York Times Style section ran some of this season’s hot new registry trends. I gotta say this is a pretty nice list. It’s focused on cooking outdoors, but there’s a little bit of everything there… like this lovely little beer scooter.  I think I know several people who would absolutely appreciate a 14 MPH Scooter/Cooler on wheels. Most of them are men, and I think registering for this little beauty would a) make that china look a whole lot more reasonable and b) it’s a great group gift from your groomsmen or bridesmaids…Definitely worth checking out.

You know what is just so annoying? People showing up to events who are just not invited.

I’m not talking about the occasional “Wedding Crasher” in the Vince Vaughn, Owen Wilson sense of the word, I’m talking about people who are invited to a function and bring “extras” with them.  A plus one they weren’t offered, their 18-year-old daughter who they believes they technically belong at the “adult only reception…no, no.

This is so tacky. Complaining to a couple that you don’t get a plus-one, or showing up with extra family members causes so much stress on the bride & groom, not to mention the wedding planner or facilities manager who now has to find a place for these people to sit and something for them to eat. And really, who wants to be standing in the back because they aren’t listed at a table when the bridal party is being announced? How awkward is that?

Listen, if you get an oversized envelope in the mail and it’s addressed to YOU and no one else. Don’t bring someone with you. It’s obnoxious and makes for a really uncomfortable situation at the event.

A friend of mine invited a specific number of guests to her shower.  Two women called to see if their 18-year-old daughters could come. Well one called and asked, the other just showed up.  It made for an uncomfortable situation at the shower and the bride had to explain to the one guest that the other had just brought her daughter and she wasn’t technically invited.  THEN … later seperate phone calls had to be made to both guests to explicitly tell these women that no, their children are not welcome at this adult only reception.

Since when is this not clear? I was completely blown away by this story…You are a GUEST at this person’s wedding… there’s not a negotiation process.

I worked another wedding once where two people, who were not invited to the wedding, showed up and acted as though they were guests.  I think the man actually said to me, ” I can’t believe we don’t have seats.” I knew they weren’t on the list, and I knew they were crashers, but in the interest of everyone’s sanity and pride, we had to literally set 2 more places at an 8-top table that was already set for 10. Talk about tight…

Those two  were fish at the bar all night too. It was unreal.

Just advise people against doing this. As a bridesmaid you’re technically on deck to help wherever necessary and sometimes it’s having a rather uncomfortable conversation with an overly eager guest and their additional uninvited guests…but sometimes it has to be done.  Weddings are expense, and if you weren’t invited… there’s a damn good reason for it.  Don’t push it.